I don’t know what direction I must turn to, the future is just too hazy right now. And in reality, if the one I have envisioned for such a long time is not the path, I admit that I will be at a loss even though it seems like I have it all figured out. How can I get used to a situation I didn’t get to imagine myself into, and suddenly thought about it 2 months ago? I am scared, even though I seem to be calm and collected. Everyone knows where they would head on to by now, and even though at first it seemed like I would be one of those who would have everything set by now, I’m one of those left without any direction as of the moment.
I thought that today, I would be able to know the truth of where I would stand for the rest of my life, but after getting off the phone, I am still a day too early to know about where I stand. With another day for me to wait for whatever it is that would become of me, I relapsed into being shrouded and timid at the side lines. People would have thought that I was over and pass this tombstone placed in front of me, but sad to say, I’m not. Truly, I wanted to be able to acquire that sledge hammer to be able to bash the obstacle placed right in front of me that’s hindering me from reaching my goal.
In reality, the other path that I’ve been telling people that I’m willing to take, is a path that would leave a scar on me. Maybe not for the whole part of my life, but it will always be at the back of my head, face it, it was my dream. I know I’m not all that good, neither am I all that great, but at least somehow I know that I am good enough. But I guess there is a percentage that others would think otherwise, because no matter how you look at it, I’m not dangling in a very narrow and thin suspension that would snap even at the slightest movement. When people say that they are in a tight or sticky situation, this might be the summit of them all.
So I admit that I’m scared and that I am indeed lost for now, but I am thankful for one thing—that I have friends who will accept me no matter what happens. I have people beside me who worry about me and help me in the best way they can. I have people who encourage me to live on, and would never abandon me no matter what I’ve become. And it’s because I have true friends, I know that I can get through this, and no matter what the result would be, I can accept it, and cry about it on the shoulders of these people I can rely on during my darkest days. This is why I can face tomorrow, no matter it may hold for me, because they will be there standing right beside me, and would tell me that everything will be all right, because I will never be alone.